Saturday, May 31, 2008

ladybird gem

ladybird gem, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

Doing a lot of transplanting of perrenials in the front yard and found this ladybug in the leaves of a plant I had just used the watering can to drench.

Friday, May 30, 2008

only slightly dramatic

only slightly dramatic, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

We went looking for goslings, my oldest daughter and I, but they were hidden away already, even though it was only early evening.

Wandering around the pond for a bit, she suddenly caught her breath and pointed...

muskrat love.

P.S. Scriv is right, the video that is linked to, is INSANE. Click at your own peril.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

sky mountains

sky mountains, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

for ampersand.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

lit chalice

lit chalice, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

Unexpected find.
In the backyard, the evening sun barely touches the centre of the crabapple blossom as the wind drops away and the branches stop swaying...


This little light of mine...

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

shape of the lilac

shape of the lilac, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

This shot is not the one I thought I would blog about but it is speaking to me somehow, so here it is.

I love lilacs.
Especially the deep purple ones.

Their heady scent can transport me back in time.
All I have to do is close my eyes and suddenly, I am 8 years old and up before anyone else. I have slipped on my yellow sweater and buttoned it up and slipped out of the house on one of those really shiny weekend mornings and I am standing under branches heavy with flowers.

Maybe that is why I made this black and white.
That memory of looking up at them and blinking as the brightness of the sky and sun bleached away all the colour and just left their shape.


Monday, May 26, 2008

safe with mama

safe with mama, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

there were actually three more goslings in those feathers with this one.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

the button on his jacket

the button on his coat, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

He has had this jacket for years and only today did I notice the decorative details that encircle the button on the cuff.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

tired but happy

tired but happy, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

Ran (mostly) 50k today and am happy, happy, happy.
Even given the state of my toes in particular and my muscles in general.
There are serious blisters on the second toe of each foot. On the sides of the toe and even under the nails.
Fairly certain that those nails are on their way to falling off.

Last year it took me 9 hours and 36 minutes to do the course, jokingly referred to as "Death by a hundred hills".
Today, it took me 8 hours and 43 minutes.

That is a difference of a lot!!!!
Okay actually 53 minutes!!!!!
That all by itself makes me so happy.

I finished and I finished faster than last year!
My kids and husband volunteered at one of the aid stations, so I saw them at 29k and the they moved so that they could see me at 46k!

It was amazing.
Burble burble burble.

Friday, May 23, 2008

lurid new shoes

lurid new shoes, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

These are not the shoes I will tie on tomorrow -
not the ones that I will wear at the starting line -

or while I am running, walking, trotting and possibly limping and hobbling up and down dirt trails through parkland forests and along horse paths and dirt roads...

hoping, thinking, pushing to cover 50 kilometres


I did it last year and it took a long time (nearly 9 and 1/2 hours, just under the limit) and left me with a lot of blisters and a couple of toenails that turned black and fell off

This year I hope to do it a little easier, a little faster but it will be better than okay if I just finish it.

One thing I do know, is that I am never really alone for any of those many steps that I take to get to the end - I carry my friends (running and otherwise) with me, and my family will be there too.

Literally, all four of my kids and my husband are the volunteers at the 5k aid station and they will cheer like I am a celebrity when I run in...

In many ways I don't think of myself as an athlete and I will look around for a moment or two tomorrow at all the other runners and think - What am I doing here?!?

Then I will shake it off and move!!!!!

-and these shoes, these are the shoes that I will wear when I start training for my next long run!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

more more more

more more more, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

another rainy day has me hanging out of a window, two stories up above the mud, pointing my camera at wet crabapple blossoms.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

at my window

at my window, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

it has rained for most of the day
and the crabapple tree outside my bedroom window is in full bloom
dressed in white petals and raindrop jewels.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

off kilter stairs

off kilter stairs, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

A little like life.

Monday, May 19, 2008

I'll fly away...

I'll fly away..., originally uploaded by gawdessness.

Bees are
up close.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

without wings

without wings, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

The swing is her launchpad
The sand, soft and sliding will be her landing

She flings herself into the air
they all will
and well before I am ready
but I will always try to be nearby

sometimes to help them back up
to brush them off

and sometimes to just let them know that they are not alone.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

run over petunia

run over petunia, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

limp on the sidewalk, tire tracks imprinted

Friday, May 16, 2008

feathery soft

feathery soft, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

My daughter handed me the purple crocus she had found.
"I didn't pick it! It was just lying there on the sidewalk!"
So she carried it to me, because it is a flower and I am her Mom and she knew I had my cameras with me, beside where I was sitting on the blanket on the front lawn.

My husband says that crocuses are this furry because it really does help to keep them warm because they bloom so early in our cold climate.

Now that is adaptation.
A flower that grows its own parka.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

spring light

spring light, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

Because there are finally leaves, new and tiny but leaves nonetheless, for the sunlight to shine through!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


golden, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

Artist friends have converted their house so that it has a studio/gallery space in the front and the back and upstairs are the living area for their family.

We were there today for a showing of their work and along with buying a smaller painting and two prints of pencil drawings, I also took pictures of this wonderful little blue bathroom through an arched doorway.

The photograph itself makes me think of my friends, they are bright and warm and inviting.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

found dino on tree fungus

found dino on tree fungus, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

Dinosaurs and dragons are very important symbols for my oldest daughter.

This afternoon we were walking through a back alley, having an important conversation about life when she came across this small, rubber stegosaurus mixed in with gravel and dirt at our feet.

Finding it made her happy and it felt a little like a sign from the universe that she may be moving in the right direction.

We stopped in the vacant lot that we cross through each week and she kindly let me pose the new found dino on the fungus growing on a stump.

cg, pom, omd

cg, pod, omd, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

Please visit Concrete Godmother over at Madeline's Child - they had to let their oldmandog go to relieve his pain and I want to somehow let CG and POM that they are being thought of during this hard, sad time.

Monday, May 12, 2008

book bug

IMG 4378, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

A mayfly (I think), landed on my knitting book at the park today.
Possibly coveting words?
Me too...
right now, I don't feel as though I have many to spare or share.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

through the door

through the door, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

Let the light and shadows speak for me.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

tucked in

tucked in, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

The short walk from the pottery studio to the crunchy granola coffee shop takes us past expensive cars, popular bars and upscale boutiques.

Sometimes it also takes us past people, like this man, sleeping uncomfortably in a recessed doorway.

it is unsettling for me, how vulnerable I feel when I see another person so - unprotected...

Friday, May 9, 2008

starry eyed

starry eyed, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

In my drive to get in close enough to these tiny flowers, I ended up lying on my stomach, wriggling in the dirt and last year's dead plants -
forgetting I was wearing a dress until my next door neighbors noticed my bare legs poking out of the brown brush of my front garden.

Ah well, the flowers are worth it.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

if I lived here...

if I lived here..., originally uploaded by gawdessness.

I would sit on the porch and look at the playground, sipping iced tea, until the dark was dark enough for me to go inside and up the stairs to my bedroom in the tower.

There, I would lay down, with the windows open, so I could hear the night sounds and they would be soft and gently lull me to sleep.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

painted swing

painted swing, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

Hanging in a tree in the front yard of the house right next to my church.

When I was a kid, we never lived in a house that we owned, because I grew up on military bases and housing was not something you could make your own.

I always wanted a swing in a tree in my own yard - as a kid, I thought of that as being sort of the coolest thing.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008


hum, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

I don't like 'em but they sure do have big, shiny grills on the front.

Kind of a twofer shot, the silver and black will look good on the black background of the blog and...
it is a self portrait of sorts - I like that the reflection makes my camera lens look rectangular, hey and my head does too.

Taken in the parking lot of the very-expensive-to-belong-to-so-we-don't private-sports-club where my youngest kids take squash lessons in an after school program.

Because HUM makes me think of Rattle and Hum, which in turn makes me think of U2 and Hummers make me think of the weird hunger some people have to drive the biggest things possible, no matter how impractical...
here is a link to the song DESIRE.

Monday, May 5, 2008


gulp, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

Fig Newtons are not small cookies.

This one, stolen from our picnic table today, was in the process of being swallowed whole.


Sunday, May 4, 2008

the wrong trousers

the wrong trousers, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

this is my youngest with her second oldest brother
she is ours through adoption
he is hers and she is his, by blood
by the time we met him, he had been in the system and on his own for too long to cope with the idea of living in a family like ours... house, dogs, parents - that whole thing is unreal and not meant for him...
maybe someday...
I have told him as much
and watched fear fill his eyes...

for now, he is one of those - skewed ball cap wearing, back pockets of his baggy jeans hanging closer to his knees than his butt
man/boys who hang out in the malls
way too young to be as old as he is.

and my heart aches.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

mansion in the sky

mansion in the sky, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

The area that I live in is criss crossed with back alleys, that was part of the attraction of this part of town, for me.

When I am running, I can choose a 4k loop and run the back alleys around the perimeter of my subdivision or I can up it and include the next subdivision over and do a 5.5 k loop.

Either one takes me past backyards and garages and driveways and often there are a lot more interesting things to see there then in the fronts of the properties.

This birdhouse is one of my favourite landmarks on either of the loops and today I passed it four times before heading in to my house and finishing up on my elliptical trainer.

Canon powershot g5, shutter 1/125,f2.8, 563mm, iso 50

Friday, May 2, 2008

hydrangea inside

hydrangea inside, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

There are pictures of wet roses and close ups of bugs that I took today - but I love the colour blue, and that is why this is the picture for today.

That and the tiny surprise at the centre of the bloom.

eos rebel xti, shutter 1/4, f2.8, 100mm, iso 100

Thursday, May 1, 2008

right after the workout

right after the workout, originally uploaded by gawdessness.

10k on the elliptical.

Love the feeling when the workout is done.

Canon eos 30d, shutter 1/60, f1.8,50mm, iso250,lightened a little in iphoto

About Me


Photo Quotes
When I ask to photograph someone, it is because I love the way they look and I think I make that clear. I'm paying them a tremendous compliment. What I'm saying is, I want to take you home with me and look at you for the rest of my life.
- Amy Arbus